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Don’t tell…

Monday, November 5, 2012

Five seconds into this spot, Dad has another decision to make. Take a look at his son’s face the first time he warns him, “Don’t tell Mom.” Now take a look at the end of the spot, when he gets the same advice from Mom. He goes from ‘stunned’ to ‘conditioned’ in 30 seconds. ”The best stories you’ll ever tell begin with ‘don’t tell” – perhaps for a weak leader or a terrible parent. Be amused, but be warned – decisions like this are our undoing.

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Not 24 hours after finding a commercial that celebrates a great “dad decision” along comes this to contrast it. Thanks to Jack Marshall over at Ethics Alarms for pointing this one out.

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Priorities Revealed

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Twenty seconds into this spot, Dad has a decision to make. How many times have you been faced with a decision like this one? What did you do with it? The direction you choose when you reach that fork in the road can change everything, for better or worse. No matter what you have claimed before, a situation like this one will make your priorities crystal clear.

There is no doubt what is most important to this dad. Are you as clear? Every leader needs to be ready, the fork in the road is ahead.

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What is required of you?

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

True patriotism hates injustice in its own land more than anywhere else.
-       Clarence Darrow (1857 – 1938)

 

Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice. And moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.
-       Barry Goldwater (1909-1998)

 

And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
-       Micah 6:8

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Where credit is due

Thursday, October 25, 2012

“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.”
- Harry S. Truman (1884-1972)

 

“The way to get things done is not to mind who gets the credit for doing them.”
- Benjamin Jowett (1817-1893)

 

“Soldiers generally win battles; generals get credit for them.”
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

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Every man is my superior

Friday, September 21, 2012

“Every man is my superior in that I may learn from him.”
- Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)

 

“In my walks, every man I meet is my superior in some way, and in that I learn from him.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

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Guard Your Heart

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
- Unknown

This is a quote that has been attributed to Frank Jackson, a cowboy in the late 19th century. Jackson was orphaned at a young age and began life working simply and honestly for a tinsmith. He then became aquainted with a man named Sam Bass and under his influence “reluctantly” joined Sam’s gang of train and bank robbers. By 1878 all in the gang were dead or arrested except Jackson, by then known as Frank Outlaw, who escaped as the lone survivor. Outlaw remained a fugitive, wanted for the murders of two deputy sheriffs, for the rest of his life. In his later years he is claimed to have been repentent and “wanted to get square with the law,” but he never did.

The evidence is not strong that these words were actually his, but they sure fit his life. Frank Outlaw’s tragic destiny was set in motion by his thoughts and actions at a young age. A likely inspiration for this quote are the words of English novelist, Charles Reade (1814-1884), “Sow an act, and you reap a habit. Sow a habit, and you reap a character. Sow a character, and you reap a destiny.”

The Bible puts it this way:

Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
Keep your mouth free of perversity;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
Let your eyes look straight ahead;
fix your gaze directly before you.
Give careful thought to the paths for your feet
and be steadfast in all your ways.
Do not turn to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.
Proverbs 4:23-27

Guard your heart. Your heart forms your thoughts and your destiny follows your thoughts. Like a row of dominoes, the first one you tip makes all the difference.

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Control, Influence and Everything Else

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

This post was provided by guest blogger Glenn Hoff, Rochester, NY Deputy Police Chief (ret.) and author of Guardian Leadership.

I was asked to provide a short answer to the question, “What is the best police career advice you have ever received?” My immediate reaction was that this was a great question and that I was going to have a very hard time forming a short answer. As I thought about the things that I learned from my mentors over the years and in an attempt to give an appropriate answer for any career path in policing, this is what I came up with…

Like everything else in life, your success and your actions are governed by your mental attitude, what you choose to focus on and how you choose to look at those things. The power of the mind and the control you choose to exercise over it cannot be overemphasized. What things should you focus on? Everything can be divided into 3 areas or spheres: those things you control, those things you influence and everything else.

 Things You Control

There are only two things that we control in our careers; our integrity and our work ethic. Integrity is key in policing. It’s too big a topic to discuss in detail here but the bottom line is that you need to be vigilant in living your Oath and Values. There is nothing worth sacrificing your integrity for and the ends never justify the means. You need to develop a strong ethical decision-making process and apply it consistently.

We absolutely control our work ethic. The attitude and effort we bring to the job everyday is ours alone. Focusing within causes us to constantly examine ourselves and take steps to shore up our weaknesses and improve our knowledge and competencies. This prepares us to take advantage of career opportunities when they present. When we get disappointed (and we will) an inward focus prepares us to do better next time rather than accept defeat by blaming something outside ourselves.

 Things You Influence

Understand the things you influence. We influence everyone we come in contact with through our words and actions. In essence this process of influencing others is leadership and we have a responsibility to our Departments and ourselves to present a positive image. You can never not lead. People are always watching and you are always influencing. The relationships you build can contribute to your success and certainly the level of satisfaction you will have in your career.

 Everything Else

We can’t afford to focus on things that we neither influence or control. Spending time on these things only builds frustration and a victim mindset. Instead choose to focus on what you can do. If we are truly concerned about something that is beyond our control we might choose to do some contingency planning – but in that effort we are in fact seizing control.

When addressing new recruit classes as a Deputy Chief I used to hand out index cards and ask each of them to write on the card how they felt that first day and answer the question of why they wanted to be a police officer? In the end I told each of them to keep the card somewhere safe so that they could refer back to it when things weren’t going as they planned. There are few careers where you will experience the extreme highs and lows of policing but there are fewer more noble.

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Robert E. Lee and the Abuse of Principle

Saturday, July 30, 2011

This was provided by guest blogger Jack Marshall, author of Ethics Alarms, one of my favorite blogs.

As both political parties and the President of the United States seem to be determined to subject the American people, economy and standing in the world to disaster in the defense of principles, it might be a good time to reflect on the fact that principles detached from reality have little value, and that rigidly adhering to principles to the detriment of the community and civilization is not a virtue.

In the current issue of Humanities, historian James Cobb makes these points vividly, if tangentially, while reflecting on the odd reverence with which Americans, and not just Southerners, regard Robert E. Lee. I am proud to say that the lionization of Lee never made sense to me, not even when I was a small boy. But he is the epitome of someone who is revered as a role model and hero for his supposed character and values rather than what he actually did with them.*

Cobb begins his essay with this anecdote:

“After President Dwight D. Eisenhower revealed on national television that one of the four “great Americans” whose pictures hung in his office was none other than Robert E. Lee, a thoroughly perplexed New York dentist reminded him that Lee had devoted “his best efforts to the destruction of the United States government” and confessed that since he could not see “how any American can include Robert E. Lee as a person to be emulated, why the President of the United States of America should do so is certainly beyond me.” Eisenhower replied personally and without hesitation, explaining that Lee was, “in my estimation, one of the supremely gifted men produced by our Nation. … selfless almost to a fault … noble as a leader and as a man, and unsullied as I read the pages of our history. From deep conviction I simply say this: a nation of men of Lee’s caliber would be unconquerable in spirit and soul. Indeed, to the degree that present-day American youth will strive to emulate his rare qualities … we, in our own time of danger in a divided world, will be strengthened and our love of freedom sustained.”

Amazing. Not just a man “of Lee’s caliber,” but Robert E. Lee himself, was directly responsible for the death of hundreds of thousands of men (between 600,000 and 700,000, to be more accurate), the maiming of many more and the devastation of a nation in defense of an institution, slavery, that is and was morally and ethically indefensible. What good were those “rare qualities” of character if they did not guide Lee away from the worst decision of his life, and one of the worst decisions of anyone’s life? No one is good “in theory.” Abstract goodness isn’t goodness at all, but only posturing. Principles are vital as constants to guide us through the chaos of life, but allowing them to send us, our community or our nation tumbling off a cliff or plunging into the sun is not ethical, intelligent, or forgivable.

Accepting that Robert E. Lee possessed fine ideals and a sterling character, we should use his sad life as a warning, not a model. It is easy for me to see that, as I frequently pass by (as well as visit, since both of my parents are buried there) Arlington National Cemetery, which is just a few miles from where I live. The cemetery was originally Robert E. Lee’s estate, and was converted into a burial ground by Brig. Gen. Montgomery C. Meigs, the Union quartermaster during the Civil War, as an act of vengeance and contempt. Meigs held Lee personally responsible for the war and the fact that his son was one of its casualties, so he designated Lee’s property as a graveyard by the act of burying his son’s body almost literally at Lee’s doorstep. If an individual’s ideals and character lead to pain and death, if loyalty and integrity cause a person to embrace, as Ulysses S. Grant correctly termed Lee’s “cause,” “one of the worst for which a people ever fought, and one for which there was the least excuse,” then that individual isn’t ethical, and certainly is no hero.

That person is a fool.

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* There were many instances in Lee’s life when his character and values led to admirable conduct, of course. His immediate acceptance of responsibility for the failure of Pickett’s Charge was one, meeting his returning soldiers personally and exclaiming, “It was all my fault.” Another was his insistence that the Confederate army surrender rather than take to the hills in guerrilla resistance that might have extended the Civil War indefinitely. But noble conduct in the wake of a fiasco you created is never as admirable as avoiding the fiasco at the outset. It is just more obvious.

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Act on Your Faith

Sunday, July 24, 2011

In 1519, Spanish Conquistador Hernán Cortés  left Cuba with just over 500 soldiers on eleven ships to sail to Mexico and conquer the Aztec Empire. The promise of riches and glory that would ensure his place in history drove him to take on incredible odds. In fact, that same lure prompted the Governor of Cuba to revoke Cortés’ commission at the last minute, so he could have that glory all for himself. Cortés, knowing this was an opportunity of a lifetime embarked anyway, now under the threat of mutiny, with the loyalty of his men split with the Governor.

When they landed in Veracruz and saw the thick jungle and harsh conditions none of the men were focused on the conquest and some were conspiring to seize ships and return to Cuba. The story goes that Cortés gathered the men on the beach and ordered all the ships to be burned. Seeing the fleet destroyed they had only one option, to move forward, to succeed or die. Because there was no turning back, those men went on to conquer a nation.

If you study more about Cortés you soon learn that he is not an example of Christian character, but the legend of his ‘burning the boats’ is exactly the kind of resolve that Erasmus calls for in the second rule for the Christian Knight. You will recall that the first rule is to rely on your faith and increase it. The second rule is to act on that faith, with your whole heart, no matter the cost, with no turning back.

Here is an interpretation of Erasmus’ Rule #2. (Click here to see a direct translation of the Latin text).

Rely on the promises of God and act on them without hesitating.
The world suffers violence and a lazy man will be lost.
You must be ready to fight, with confidence, with purpose, with all your heart.
Resolve to act – even if it means you could lose everything.
Friends, possessions, status, personal comfort –let nothing stand in your way.
You must not turn back.

Act now – even if it seems a little reckless.
Flee from the things that are holding you back from fully pursuing your faith.
Don’t focus on what you are leaving behind, but on what is ahead.
Trust God, not yourself.
You cannot serve God and love the things in the world.
God wants you to be fully his.

There are only two paths for you to take.
The path to perdition;  following the comfort and pleasure of the world.
The path to life; following God – increasing your faith and acting in obedience.
There is no third path.
Few men walk the path that Christ took, the choice to please God.
Do not be deceived, you must choose.

There are many excuses:
I am not sure about God and life is too busy to think too much about it, or
I believe in God, but don’t really have time for the Bible or church, or
I go to church, pray and even read the Bible – but this message is too extreme for me, or
I am young, wealthy, have an important job –I have more pressing things to worry about, or
These things may have been important to the apostles, but not to me, not today.
These are all delusions. The truth is that nothing is more important than pursuing Christ.
The sky, earth and sea is the world for all of us,
But, if ambition, lust, desire for honor, authority or pleasure, are your world, you are lost.
Christ spoke indifferently to all men,
Whoever would not take up His cross and follow Him could not be His disciple.
If living by His Spirit is not important to you, dying for Christ does not pertain to you either.
If to be crucified, to be buried and to rise in Glory have no meaning to you, what does?
If his humility, poverty, persecution, labor and agony mean nothing, neither does His kingdom.

What could be more unfair than to expect the same reward as those who offer greater sacrifice?
It is foolish to expect great reward from Christ when you are not willing to suffer with Him now?
Do not flatter yourself by comparing yourself to others.
Dying to sin is nearly impossible, yet we are all sworn to it.
Whether a knight or a pauper there is no vow more sacred.
Even though we will never reach Christ-like perfection in life.
This is the goal we must strive for with your hands, feet and all your heart.
A Christian Knight’s actions must follow his heart and his heart must fully follow Christ.

For a biblical example Erasmus looks at Lot and the destruction of Sodom. Lot was a good man who lived in a bad city, a city that had gotten so evil that it had to be destroyed. Because Lot was righteous God allowed him to be spared and given just enough warning to save himself and his loved ones. Lot’s problem was, although a good man, he had become accustomed to the wealth and luxury of the city and he had drifted from God. He did not directly partake in the depravity around him, but he had become tolerant of it and influenced by it. Lot did not have an increasing faith, the opposite was true. Over time as he became immersed in the world his faith was relegated to a smaller and smaller part of his life and his godly influence on the people around him decreased with it.

Now Lot found himself faced with his ‘burn the boats’ moment. What God had to say was not a complex message that was difficult to apply to his life – his city was about to be destroyed, his family about to be killed, he had to act immediately or die. So he took the life-or-death warning to his sons-in-law and began paying the price for his lack of faith and influence, they laughed at him and he was ignored. Lot’s wife responded a little better by following him out of the city, but she longed for what was being left behind. She did not want to leave her life in the city – her boat had not burned – she tried to go back and was also lost.

Lot was a good man who got caught up in the world and it distracted him from God. His faith did not really matter to him until the end when it was too late. How different could things have been for Lot if he had been ‘walking his talk’ before the day he had to deliver that hard message?  The day that mattered most for Lot came up without warning and the cost for living in spiritual compromise was high. Your day may come without warning too. What do you need to do to begin to act on your faith? What are the things in your life that rival God for your heart? Do you need to leave some things behind? Is it time for you to burn some ships and move forward?

If you want to go deeper on this, I recommend this message from Scott Chapman, Senior Pastor at The Chapel (Lake County, IL). I don’t know what Scott knows of Erasmus, but 500 years apart they are preaching the same message. You can change the century but you can’t change the truth. You will also see where I borrowed the Cortés illustration, which Erasmus could not have used since it hadn’t quite happened for him yet.

Change from The Chapel on Vimeo.

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.  For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.  What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?  Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.
Luke 9:23-26

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Increase Your Faith

Sunday, July 10, 2011

St. Augustine (354-430 AD) called prioritizing relationships in order of importance a ‘well ordered love.’  With priorities, something has to be most important; with order, something has to be first. What Augustine points out is that God wants us to make that Him, to place pursuing a growing relationship with Jesus above all else (see Pursue a Balanced Life – part 2). This is the principle behind the first rule in the the Manual of a Christian Knight. Knowing God and strengthening that relationship with an increasing faith is the foundation, not only for a Christian knight, but for a purposeful life.  So how do you know what that faith looks like and how should you go about increasing it? First, lets settle on a definition, then turn to Erasmus’ first rule for the details.

faith (feyth)
–noun
strong or unshakable belief in something, especially without proof or evidence.

Oswald Chambers (1874-1917), Scottish theologian and chaplain to troops in WWI, said, “Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time.”  Knowing that God is real and that His word is reliable is hard amidst all the competing messages in the world. To live your life like you know it is even harder. Harder still is making the pursuit of that knowledge, with increasing faith, your life’s highest priority. This is the kind of radical faith we are being called to; a strong, unshakable, deliberate confidence in the character of God, even when you do not understand His ways and when the rest of the world says you are mad.

Here is an interpretation of Erasmus’ Rule #1 for the Christian knight. (Click here to see a direct translation of the Latin text).

Faith is the way to Christ and Scripture is reliable.
Your belief in this should not be weak lip service, like most people.
Have a faith that comes from the heart.
Know that every word of Scripture is important to your well being.

Put your faith in God, not in the world.
Most people live like heaven and hell are myths.
Even if most people tell you it is madness.
God cannot lie, what he  says is truth.

If you believe in God, you must believe what he says – confidently.
What you see and hear and touch is not as reliable as God’s word.
The prophets told of it, the blood of many martyrs proved it, it stands the test of time.
Christ became a man to fully reveal this truth.

Stir up a flame of faith and pursue God – ask God to increase your faith.
Increased faith will change you.
The greater your faith the less that vices and momentary pleasure will tempt you.
Not only will you be happier in life, you will be rewarded in eternity.

What has the most influence in forming your your view of the world? Does the wisdom of men and the influence of our culture hold more sway than God? Maybe you think they are incompatible, that the enlightenment of our modern age has made the Bible irrelevant. A collection of helpful stories and moral examples, but not reliable truth for every situation. As our world becomes increasingly convinced that we all got here without a creator and can live good and meaningful lives without Him, God is being increasingly marginalized. That has not changed in 500 years – it is precisely what Erasmus is warning us of. It was not true then, it is not true today, it will not be any more true tomorrow. In fact, the more you know about what God has to say and the stronger your connection to him, the more confident you will grow in your knowledge of the truth and the more your faith will increase.

So, how exactly do I increase my faith? Since God created each of us uniquely, the answer to this question is very likely different for you than for me. The journey toward an ‘increasing faith’, is just that, a journey. Increased faith is not a destination, rather a lifetime quest to follow God’s lead. You can be sure that He cares too much to let you stay where you are, if you are willing to follow, He will lead. To be prepared to follow, to find your individual answer to the ‘how’ question, you must understand yourself.

John Ortberg has written an excellent book called The Me I Want to Be: Becoming God’s Best Version of You. In Chapter Four, How to Grow, Ortberg says, “Spiritual growth is hand-crafted, not mass produced. God does not do one-size-fits-all,” and then he identifies some key questions to ask yourself.

  • What brings me life? To make growth sustainable you need to identify the ways that you are energized.
  • What is my temperament? Are you an introvert, extrovert, thinker, feeler?
  • What is my pathway? Where and how do you experience God?
  • What is my learning style? Everyone has a love of learning, but you need to identify your style to unlock it.
  •  What is my signature sin? Identify what is holding you back and learn how to break free.
  •  What is my season in life? What you need to continue to grow will will change as you grow.

If you were hoping for an easy answer like ’read your Bible more’ or ‘go to church on Sunday,’ the journey to increasing faith is a bit more complicated, a journey to more fully understanding God can only begin by tackling personal questions like Ortberg poses. There are other good resources available, but The Me I Want to Be comes with a very useful online assessment. I highly recommend this as a first step in your journey.

The last word on this will be His.

My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity.

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.
Proverb 3:1-8

 

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